Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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