Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
