every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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