i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
