Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
