after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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