I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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