I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize