I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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