You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
