And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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