Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
