I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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