He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize