people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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