I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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