I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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