There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
