What a fucking waste of an outfit
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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