i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
