I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
