Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
