Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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