Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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