Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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