Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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