I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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