Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im about as happy as oj after his trial
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Randomize
