The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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