It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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