Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize