sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
