people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
