apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
