I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
