do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
