He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
