Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You're like the curious george of whores
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
They have beer where we have blood.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
