I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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