Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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