So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
