NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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