So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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