If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
