Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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