Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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