nut hugger
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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