so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
