Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
