so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
