Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
