You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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