he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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