I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
