dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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