so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
