I hate all girls vehemently.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
