Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
