How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
