only if we run a train.
done.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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