i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize