just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
