Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
