But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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