I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
