It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
