I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
