She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
