I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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