just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize