If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
